The Value of Self-Praise: Understanding Self-Esteem and Internal Validation

The question of whether self-praise is necessary or beneficial to our well-being has sparked much debate. In this article, we explore the concept of self-esteem and the role of both internal and external validation in our lives. Drawing from insights from a recent Sam Harris Podcast interview with Stephen Fry, we delve into the idea of 'not attaching' to our thoughts and emotions, and the impact such a mindset can have on our self-esteem and overall peace of mind.

Sam Harris and Stephen Fry: The Role of Thoughts and Emotions

During their recent conversation, Sam Harris and Stephen Fry discussed the importance of not attaching to our thoughts or emotions. This concept is often presented in the context of spiritual and psychological practices, where the 'ego' plays a crucial role in shaping our perceptions and self-worth.

This podcast highlights the idea that simply feeling good about a task or achievement is sufficient for many people. However, does external praise play a necessary role in enhancing self-worth? The answer to this question is not black and white, and varies from individual to individual. For some, external validation might be a stepping stone to personal growth, while for others, it might be a mere crutch.

The Spiritual Practice of Being the 'Watcher'

In my own journey, I spent half a dozen years studying the spiritual works of David R. Hawkins. His teachings emphasized the importance of being the 'watcher' - the observer of thoughts and emotions, rather than identifying with them. This practice is easier said than done, as it requires significant willpower and consistent effort. However, once mastered, it can lead to profound insights and a deeper understanding of the self.

Mindfulness and meditation also played a crucial role in helping me detach from the ego and its thoughts. By treating these thoughts as external entities, I could step back and evaluate them more objectively. This approach has been a life-changer for me, and a constant work in progress.

Peace of Mind Through Self-Acceptance

The quest for external validation can often lead to a fragile sense of self-worth. If your vision of success comes from external sources, you may find some measure of success, but you may also struggle with mental peace. Self-love is not selfish; it is essential for a peaceful mind. Achieving this requires understanding that internal validation is just as, if not more, important than external praise.

When you already know you have done well, why seek more praise? External praise can be a necessary component when you seek approval or meet someone else's expectations. However, doing so on a regular basis can create dependencies and potential disappointments. Even if your intentions are positive, the outcome can vary, and you may face both positive and negative responses.

Recognition and Internal Validation

Before seeking external validation, ask yourself why you want it. Understanding your motivations can help you make more informed decisions about your actions and choices. Ultimately, the key is to understand that true self-worth and peace of mind come from within. The external validation may initially seem appealing, but it is important to focus on your internal feelings and values.

Thank you for your question, and I hope this reflection was helpful. Remember, the journey to self-worth and peace is a continuous one, and it is part of the process of personal growth and self-discovery.