The Power of Self-Focus: Embracing Leadership from the Inside Out

In the world we live in, it is easy to be swept away by the expectations and demands of others. However, a profound shift in focus towards self-governance can yield unexpected and transformative results. This article explores how focusing on yourself can lift the weight of unnecessary pressure and pave the way for personal growth, success, and leadership."

Once, I thought I would feel more pressure having to think for myself, but surprisingly, the opposite was true. It's actually the pressure to have others think for me that weighs heavily. I would constantly try to read between the lines, guessing what others wanted from me and adapting my behavior accordingly. When things didn’t align, blame was the immediate reaction. Life felt random, stressful, and chaotic. Each event happened to me, often influenced by external factors like parents, friends, school, and society. Yet, when I decided to own my thoughts, decisions, and actions, I suddenly found the freedom to breathe. I could question my choices, create what I truly wanted in life, and hold myself accountable for any 'mistakes.'

The Origin of Greatness

Every good thing that happens to us starts from within. People might call this egoism, but I believe that to truly do great things and be good, you first need to become good. For me, focusing on myself has helped me grow continuously, thereby becoming better for others. It has significantly improved my relationships, income, and overall happiness. When I feel good, I want to share that positivity and make others feel good too.

The journey began in 1973 during a typical summer day. I was playing kickball on the streets with my brother and some friends. My mother had brought home a new puppy, Lancer, a friendly and energetic mutt, which quickly became a neighborhood favorite. One day, Carla, a little white girl a year or two younger, stopped by to play with Lancer. She was known to me and my friends; her brother and sister were regulars, and once even gave me a ride on his minibike. Despite the cultural diversity of my group, we all enjoyed each other's company.

Turning Point

It was during this moment that I encountered peer pressure for the first time. Briefly, some older black children mocked me for letting Carla play with the puppy. When one of them handed me the kickball and said, "act," I succumbed to the pressure and struck Carla in the head with the ball. Shocked, disappointed, and crying, she ran home, leaving cheers and high-fives scattered like rain. However, internally, I felt terrible. That was not who I was; it was not my character.

Carla and her mother approached my house, and my so-called friends fled. Left alone, I had to apologize to Carla and her mother for my shocking behavior. I was punished severely by my mother, and as I sat in my room, I made a solemn promise to never act that way again. That youth leadership moment came from the hard school of critical thinking. If I had applied basic critical thinking, I would never have made that mistake.

General Colin Powell once said, "Effective leaders must be able to question the status quo, challenge assumptions, and think critically about the world around them." Critical thinking is not just a tangible skill; it is an intangible leadership trait that many need but few have. It taught me the value of self-reflection and self-control, and it transformed me into a leader—not just a follower. This episode marked a significant shift in my journey, leading me to embrace the power of self-focus and the profound impact it can have on personal and professional success.

Conclusion

Embracing self-focus is a powerful tool for leadership. It allows us to break free from the constraints of others' expectations and find our authentic path. By critically thinking and owning our thoughts and decisions, we can create a life filled with meaning, success, and joy. The journey is not always easy, but the rewards are immeasurable. Start by focusing on yourself, and watch as that internal shift propels you towards greatness.