The Guilt of Cheaters and Their Excuses to Rationalize Their Actions

When a person engages in cheating, guilt often becomes a primary emotion. However, many cheaters find various ways to offset their guilt and maintain their beliefs in their behavior. Understanding these methods can help address and potentially prevent such harmful behaviors.

Projection: Accusing the Accuser

One common way cheaters offset their guilt is through projection. They will accuse the other party of cheating, rationalizing that if the other person is actually guilty of cheating, then they are in the clear. This mental manipulation is based on the faulty logic that if someone accuses another of a crime, they must not be guilty of it themselves.

Blaming Others

Another tactic is blaming others. This could be blaming a partner for being fat, or not understanding them, or even accusing someone else without any concrete evidence. Cheaters might also take responsibility for tasks they are supposed to do, like taking out the trash, as a way to appear loyal and blame their partner for any shortcomings. This deflects their own guilt and maintains a facade of innocence.

Splaining Their Actions Away

Some cheaters use splaining, a variation of splitting, to downplay or distance themselves emotionally from their actions. They might claim their partner is just a “friend” or that their actions “didn't mean anything.” This way, they can maintain a moral high ground and distance themselves from the emotional weight of their infidelity.

Denial: Making Excuses

Denial is a powerful tool that cheaters use to justify their actions. They might argue that it wasn't really cheating because their partner was seductive, or they were drunk, or men can't help themselves. This denial allows them to avoid feeling guilty and to keep their moral compass intact.

Self-Actualization: Accepting the Natural State of Humans

Some individuals rationalize their behavior by stating that humans are not naturally monogamous and that there is nothing inherently wrong with having multiple partners. They might claim that it's not realistic to expect one person to meet all their needs, and that it's simply a part of human nature to seek variety and freedom in relationships.

Understanding Monogamy and Cheating

It's crucial to acknowledge that not everyone is monogamous, and monogamy is a personal choice, not an inherent truth. However, when a person makes a monogamous commitment, they are agreeing to a certain level of fidelity and trust. Cheating violates that commitment, not because monogamy is inherently wrong, but because it breaks the trust and respect between partners.

Some people who are not monogamous may make monogamous commitments due to societal pressures or their own selfish desires. They may crave the security of a committed relationship while also seeking freedom from monogamy. This creates a complex and often immoral dynamic where they ask their partners to provide what they themselves are not willing to offer.

Motivations Behind Cheating

Many cheaters also find themselves lying and sneaking around because they enjoy the thrill and the benefits they derive from it. However, it is essential to recognize that cheating is, in fact, evil behavior, irrespective of the excuses provided. Cheaters do not love their partners and are willing to harm them and prevent them from finding true love for their own selfish gain.

The Consequences of Staying in a Cheating Relationship

Staying in a cheating relationship can lead to significant emotional and psychological damage, not to mention the potential long-term harm to one's self-respect. However, one should note that if both parties are non-monogamous and are open about their intentions, then this could be a different story. In such cases, mutual consent and understanding play a critical role.

Ultimately, staying with a cheater implies a shocking lack of self-respect, unless you too are non-monogamous and have a clear and open understanding with your partner.