Is It Okay to Date a Third Cousin?

The idea of dating or marrying a third cousin might seem unusual or even unsettling to some, but it is, in fact, socially acceptable and often considered legal in most parts of the world. Third cousins share a great-great-grandparent, making them quite distantly related. This distance in relation can often alleviate concerns about familial dynamics and ethical considerations.

Historical and Cultural Perspectives

Historically, cousin marriages were not as uncommon as one might think. In many cultures, including within royal families, marrying a third cousin was and still is a relatively common practice. For example, Queen Elizabeth II married her third cousin.

Many cultures do not forbid marriage between third cousins, with some even considering it a normal and acceptable option. However, personal and family dynamics can play a significant role in individual perspectives on such relationships. Some families might have varying views on cousin relationships, which can influence one's decision.

Genetic Considerations

Genetically, there is little risk involved when dating a third cousin. By the time we reach the third cousin relationship, the shared ancestry is so distant that the genetic risk is minimal. In most cases, a third cousin is genetically as different as two individuals selected at random from the general population.

Dr. Nicholas Neeves aptly points out that cousin marriages as late as the 1800s were not uncommon, and marriages between second or third cousins were likely genetically distinct enough to not have severe consequences for offspring. By the time we reach the fourth, fifth, or sixth cousin level, we are often barely related, and many people may not even know the common ancestor unless they conduct a thorough genealogical search.

Some argue that even a 3rd cousin relationship is too close for comfort, particularly if they had the chance to meet their great-great-grandparents. In personal relationships, it is important to consider the comfort levels and ethical boundaries of both individuals involved. Some people might be uncomfortable knowing that their great-grandchild could potentially marry a sibling's great-grandchild because of the close genetic relationship and emotional ties.

Genetic Risks and Inheritance

Despite the low genetic risks, there can still be concerns about inherited traits or conditions. For example, some families might have a history of depression, heart trouble, or other neurological conditions. If either party comes from a family with a known genetic predisposition to such conditions, it might be a valid concern to weigh.

However, many relationships between third cousins are healthy and provide no significant genetic risks. The offspring of such relationships are often entirely normal, without any notable genetic abnormalities. Moreover, the vast majority of genetic conditions are not directly related to first or distant cousin relationships but rather to other factors such as lifestyle and environmental influences.

Personal Opinion and Decision

While there are valid arguments for both sides, the decision ultimately comes down to personal feelings and individual circumstances. If both individuals are comfortable with the relationship and there are no legal or ethical concerns within the community, dating a third cousin is generally fine.

It is important to have open and honest communication about genetic risks and family histories. If both parties are willing to share this information and feel no discomfort, a third cousin relationship can be a positive and healthy relationship choice.

Conclusion

In conclusion, dating a third cousin is a personal choice that should be based on mutual comfort and a lack of legal or ethical issues. While there is a minimal genetic risk, it is generally low and manageable in most cases. Ultimately, the decision should be made by the individuals involved after thorough consideration and discussion of personal boundaries and feelings.