Debunking Myths: Lies I Once Believed and the Lessons I Learned

I used to believe in a number of lies that were ingrained in me from a young age. In this article, I will share three of the most significant falsehoods that I internalized, and the lessons I've learned from recognizing their falsehood.

Myth 1: Only Men Are Perverts

One of the most obvious and damaging lies I believed was the notion that only men were perverts, a commonplace belief that often goes unchallenged. Growing up, I heard countless times that women, as the more moral gender, were less prone to immoral or perverted thoughts and behaviors. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, women often engage in their own share of perverted thinking, which is often dismissed or downplayed by society.

I soon realized that this stereotype is not based on any factual basis. Women, like men, can have any variety of thoughts and desires. It is important to recognize and address these feelings rather than demonize or marginalize anyone based on gender.

Myth 2: A Woman's True Happiness Lies in Marriage and Having Children

I was also fed the belief that a woman's ultimate happiness lies in getting married and having children. This is a common narrative that is often perpetuated by societal norms and expectations. However, I have come to understand that this is not true for everyone. I have witnessed countless single women who are incredibly happy and fulfilled, while some married women struggle with feelings of unhappiness and regret.

I had a conversation with a woman who had attempted suicide recently, and she was married with a child. This experience shattered my preconceived notions about the perceived happiness of married life. The idea that having a family will prevent depressive thoughts is a myth. Each person is different, and true happiness comes from within and not from external factors like family or marriage.

Myth 3: You Need Your Family’s Blessing to Lead a Happy Life

This myth, which I was also taught, suggests that family approval is essential for leading a happy life. While family support is certainly important, true happiness is predominantly an internal experience that comes from self-empowerment and self-determination. Many people, like myself, rely on parental validation for their choices and decisions, but in reality, this can be suffocating.

I came to realize that seeking someone's "ok" or "green light" to make decisions is not a healthy way to live. True independence and self-awareness are critical for leading a fulfilling life. While your family can certainly influence you, ultimately, you are the one who needs to create your own blessings and happiness. A family's blessing should not be the final word on your happiness or success.

Independence: The Key to Happiness

One of the lessons I learned from these revelations is the importance of independence. Recognizing that you are the only person who can create your own happiness has freed me. It is crucial to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being over the validation or opinions of others, especially when it comes from family members who may have ulterior motives.

By taking care of yourself and focusing on your own goals and dreams, you can lead a more authentic and fulfilling life. Independence and self-determination have allowed me to pursue my own path, even when it differs from societal expectations.

The American Dream and Gender Stereotypes

Another topic that I had to confront was the concept of the American dream. Growing up, it was common to hear that dealing with acne was only a short-term issue that would be gone by the time I reached adulthood. However, I soon realized that the American dream can be a misleading idea, especially for women. It often assumes that a happy and successful life is defined by traditional roles, such as marriage and having children.

I also believed that because of my experiences, I was not fit for association with the extant human society, implying a lack of social acceptance. Consequently, I considered the possibility of having a child through surrogacy or adoption. While this is a valid option for some, it is not the only path to a fulfilling life.

Final Thoughts

Through my experiences, I have come to understand that many of the myths and stereotypes I believed were not only unfounded but also limiting. Recognizing these myths has allowed me to break free from the constraints that society places on us and pursue a path that suits my unique experiences and desires. It is important to challenge these beliefs and prioritize self-determination and independence.